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Joke of the Day

"A man ended up in hospital today, covered in wood and hay, with a horse inside him. His condition is described as stable."

"I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer... I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"An Irishman walks into an AA meeting. Just kidding."

"there's a jehovah's witness dressed up as a cop who keeps banging on my door, haha nice try buddy"

"I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered.....medium, of course."

"If you insist on telling me about your weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it's the only place I'll give a shit."

"Why was Luke Skywalker late? He didn't run, ewok-ed."

"All mushrooms are edible. ...Once."

"How do you make a post man sad? Kill his family."

"Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper ""get out of me"" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden."