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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country? Too many horses were drowning."

"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Cause 69 is mouth full."

"Lost dog. Missing: Three-legged dog. Distinguishing feature: Falls over when it pisses."

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A!"

"Learning-disabled lions are called leotards, right? Anyway, when dancers ask you to drop off old ones for needy kids, DON'T! So much blood."

"Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can't pronounce it."

"Wanna hear something ironic? Aliens abduct a fisherman"

"What did Admiral Ackbar say when he saw someone unfolding a 10'x15' sheet of canvas? IT'S A TARP!!!"

"""Actually I have a lot of secs"" is apparently not the right answer to ""Do you have a sec?"""