102055

Joke of the Day

"Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

"The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"I went to a job interview at EA The interviewer, after reading my CV, said: ""I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"" ""Page two is 19.99$"""

"Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? To remind black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"It's strange that most republicans are homophobic... especially when they're obsessed with screwing all the gay guys in the country."

"An old married couple wins 10 million dollars from the lottery. ""What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?"" the woman asks her husband. ""Keep sending them!"""

"Last night I was questioned by a detective, and then afterwards we had sex EDIT: Seriously, gilded? I'm speechless"

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Guy playing chess with his Central European lover ""Czech and mate"""