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Joke of the Day

"It's important for a dentist to know advanced mathematics They often have to deal with calculus on the job."

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"How convenient, I can cook this lasagna in the microwave in 30 seconds, or in my oven in 4 days."
"At least I have all day sober to Sunday up....."
"Don't bother entering the sail-raising contest at the boat club. It's rigged."
"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they all screw in sleeping bags."
"Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do"
"How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? No clue. Too busy masturbating."
"The 'C word' My girlfriend hates it when I say the ""C word"". This one time, we were watching Spongebob and I'm like ""hey, its 'C word'!"" and shes like ""it's Squidward, you cunt"""
"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."
"I like my women like I like my butter In a box, in a fridge."
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