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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird. Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!"

"What do you call an ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese"

"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."

"I have a sexual attraction and fetish for car races I just love getting off to a good start"

"Wife: ""You talk like some poorly written science fiction novel. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""I swear by the 12 moons of Bumtar I can change!"""

"What type of fossil fuel likes to tell dick jokes? Crude Oil"

"Did you hear about the microbiologist who travelled around the world? He was a man of many cultures"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"If someone hits you with a coffee mug, have you technically been mugged?"

"What kind of smartphone would Harambe have? The brand doesn't matter as long as it has gorilla glass."