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Joke of the Day

"What's an author's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird. (Yes I know it's horrible :P)"

"Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell."

"I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps."

"What was Jesus' favorite sport? Crossfitting."

"Knock knock ""Who's there"" ""I'm the mailman"""

"Too fat for the girl next door At least according to her Korean father. I guess I can't have my cake and Edith Tu."

"but how do I know if a guy hates me FOR ME"

"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."

"What is the opposite of leapfrog? Toadstool *i'll just see myself out*"

"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day."