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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean."

"What's a zombies favorite exercise? Deadlifts"

"What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip? Recalculating route."

"TIL that I'm dyslexic. Whoops, wrong bus."

"Coming Soon Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold *cue explosion* PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN *fade to black*"

"a fun thing to do if your wife leaves her fb open: post an argument you had but switch who said what and watch her friends agree with 'her'"

"Kanye West is still performing at the Pan Am closing ceremony. Looks like the petition didn't Pan out."

"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we both are... But I laugh more."

"What did the saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? ""Man, if we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."""

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."