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Joke of the Day
"I'm fantastic in bed I can stay asleep for 15 hours!"
Next Joke
"There is no 'I' in narcissism. OK, there are a couple but there certainly isn't enough of them."
"It's weird how women are always wearing clothes. What are they trying to hide?"
"Emailing professors be like Me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* Professor: ""sure"" -sent from my iPhone"
"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"
"I like my wine like I like my women 9 years old and locked in the cellar"
"Why are there no joke about Jonestown? The punchlines are too long."
"Rock-a-bye-baby is my favorite nursery rhyme about the tragic consequences of putting babies in trees."
"Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No they do everything on porpoise!"
"So I accidentally fell onto the rope connecting my two pigs... I tore my hamstring."