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Joke of the Day

"Watching the basketball game with my dad... Me: Do you think Irving will score a three pointer in the last couple minutes? Dad: I don't know, that's quite a long shot."

"There's been a surge in public sex lately. These people are fucking everywhere."

"Is your fridge running? Nah, it's chillin."

"McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer."

"Doc, my leg bone is missing! ""You must be joking!"" ""No doc, there's not a humerus bone in my body!'"

"The price of Trumps' wall became much cheaper after the election... ...50 million people shit a brick!"

"What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ? Turns over a new leaf !"

"What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear? Camembert!"

"WOW! SNOWING EVERYWHE.... it stopped. OMG IT'S STARTING AGAIN AND... nvrmind. HERE IT IS AGAIN, WEEE...its gone. - Snow globe, the story."

"As a mom of 18 & 20 year olds: save while your kids are young, then at graduation, buy yourself a new car & send them to community college."