10635

Joke of the Day

"Best worst pick up lines? Anything and everything. ""Hey, how much does a seal weigh?"" "" I dunno?"" ""Just enough to break the ice."""

"They say that time heals all wounds... But what if you get hit in the head with a clock?"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, since he's too short to be an ese."

"LPT. Before making any promises to a girl, masturbate twice. It may change your opinion."

"TIFU by posting a joke online... You had already reddit."

"A joke I made up What happened to wendy on her way to neverland? She peed her pants (read out loud)"

"My father said his Computer crashed... I asked him, what he did. ""I googled 'Malaysian Airlines'"", he replied."

"You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!"

"Getting rejected by women? Try my new question: ""If I were to ask you out, would you say no?"" Sometimes it just feels good to get a ""Yes""."

"What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument? He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away."