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Joke of the Day

"How do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not going to come."

"Bro, your girl is so basic bitch Her shoe size is 14"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !"

"New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can't keep him :( He's ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT."

"What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment? Storming a castle."

"""Did you just fall?"" ""No. I attacked the floor."" ""Backwards?"" ""I'm freaking talented!"""

"I never really got the concept of exact change... It just never made cents."

"I'm always suspicious of stairs. They're usually up to something."

"I bought a thesaurus at a store today. Brought it home to find all the pages were blank... I have no words to describe how angry I am"

"without moms we'd have no password security questions. thanks mom, for making online banking possible"