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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheistic insomniac? He lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"What Do You Call A Cow With Parkinson's Beef Jerky"

"What do you call a fake psychic who was found out and now shoots up in ditches? A high medium low"

"Did you hear about my time machine? I sold it next week"

"""Thats a sexy little outfit your wearing"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you"". ""Dave"", my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""

"How do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not going to come."

"Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work? Because he fucking hates U2."

"I assume the #1 reason people change their identity is b/c they answered ""You too"" when the barista said ""Enjoy your bagel."""

"How do you spell hypocrisy? R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N"

"They say penis size is related to shoe size As if being raped by a clown isn't bad enough."