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Joke of the Day

"Who needs viagra when there are pictures of old women with dyed orange hair and their eyebrows penciled in on the internet"

"Jesus Was Born In The Middle East... Why'd you think he was white?"

"Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it"

"""Hey, wanna hangout?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""No, later"" ""How about now?"" ""Jesus christ."" -if Adobe Updater was your friend"

"A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. ""Excuse me, sir,"" said the cop. ""Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"" ""Thank God,"" he said. ""I thought I'd gone deaf!"""

"I went to the Reddit restaurant All of its servers were busy..."

"I like my woman the way I like my coffee. Hot, black, and all over my lap while I'm driving."

"Suicide Bomber They said, ""If you blow up the building, you'll get 72 virgins when you go to heaven!"" I said, ""How about I just vandalize it for 5 sluts right now?"""

"An interracial couple eating Cheerios and non-English speakers drinking Coke. We're a Benghazi pizza commercial away from a Texas secession."

"What the difference between the titanic and climate change? Climate change beat the ice berg"