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Joke of the Day

"I'm so upset- I threw a bukkake party last night, but it was a complete disaster. Nobody came."

"[tv ad] Hey folks, this is Don Key! Come on down to Key's Automotive for.. uh- [camera still rolling] holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey"

"What do you call fast midget house cleaners? Minute maids."

"I went to the doctor yesterday. He said that I had contracted a very serious illness. I then told him that I wanted a second opinion. He told me 'All right, you're ugly as well'."

"Why did the moron throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man accused of viciously knife-raping his wife."

"I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling ""why you ain't got no babies?""I bet my father in law paid her"

"Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: A Rip Off"

"I just bought a notebook with perforated pages... It's tearable."

"I'm gonna drink until she's pretty then fuck her until she's ugly again."

"How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a bad joke teller? To get to the other side!"