111946

Joke of the Day

"The Chicken or The Egg A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette. The egg rolls over in satisfaction and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

Next Joke
 
"Officer there's nothing in my trun.. [hundreds of dead tamagotchis fall out. The younger cop vomits]"
"So I wanted to write a joke about the lack of aplomb demonstrated by the police recently in Texas. But that would resemble a bomb, and I might get in trouble."
"Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*"
"A couple split up over Christmas cause the man wanted a Playstation... Instead he got an ex-box"
"Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're plane wrong."
"Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business."
"Bouncer: Woah. Dress code Me: This is a suit B: Yeah, a chicken suit. *puts nugget in bouncer's pocket *pats it M: We good? B: Have fun, sir"
"Girlfriend: ""babe it's hot I need a fan"" [Boyfriend starts taking pictures with her and BEGGING for autographs]"
"Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit."