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Joke of the Day
"Ever have sex with a schizophrenic? It's fucking crazy."
Next Joke
"Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game."
"I once told my friend he was dead to me... I cried during the burial."
"Entropy.... Enjoy it while it lasts!"
"Diner: Waitress the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged."
"I want to make a jew joke Please don't jewdge me!"
"What sound does and alcohlic train make? Chug chug chug chug chug chug... I'll show myself out."
"Boss: I'll tell you what I want Me: So tell me what you want, what you really really want *office breaks into Spice Girls dance routine"
"My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to ""work her core."" I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win."
"I HATE when people rub things in my face. Unless it's boobs."