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Joke of the Day

"What does a baker say before he orgasms? I'm going to crumb! ( )"

"Did you see the Broadway musical about the dictionary? It's a play on words."

"When I was young I had to go to walking school. It was tough. They really put you through your paces there"

"How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb in San Francisco? Both of them."

"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."

"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"

"You wanna hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."

"My crush said he made his phone keys sticky thinking of me so I dumped him. I'm disgusted. What kind of loser still has keys on his phone?"

"Did you hear about the Greek philosopher who overdosed on drugs? He was a *myth*anphetamine user."

"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."