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Joke of the Day

"What's everyone's favorite past time, that always has the same outcome, yet does not have an arena or a proper league? Five on one."

"A man goes to prison and his cell mate asks ""are you going to be mummy or daddy?"" ""ahh...daddy"" the man replies nervously. ""fine. Now get over here and suck mummy's cock!"""

"On medication is the BEST time to operate heavy machinery"

"Why shouldn't you invest in muslim-owned businesses? They never show a prophet."

"72 What is 72? 69 with 3 people watching!"

"Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don't have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness."

"I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on"

"""What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?"" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome"

"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"