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Joke of the Day

"I met my newborn neice for the first time last night and she didn't even remember me this morning. Bitch."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper"

"Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin."

"I don't see why Trump says we don't win anymore. We did win the Superbowl."

"This year I'll avoid all the trouble of taking down my Christmas lights... I'll just turn my house into an Italian restaurant."

"How Does Moses Make His Tea? Hebrews it"

"Sex has a speed limit It's 68, because when you get to 69 you have to turn around"

"How did I get out of Iraq? Iran"

"A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand... and says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"If Trump replaces Obama as president, Then it will be the first time a white billionaire moves into government subsidized housing after a black family moved out. Edit: Billionaire"