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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""I think I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Sometimes you have to Photoshop your life Sometimes you have to #Photoshop your life .. Touch up edges Adjust the tones Blur the background n Crop some people out :D"

"What do you call a female android? Synthia Lmao"

"Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business? All of its servers were busy"

"What do you call a dog who digs for bones? A Bark-aeologist"

"In Australia, lawsuits are just what lawyers wear to court."

"Somebody once told me I was a real skeptic... I didn't believe 'em."

"My friend's crazy, he left a bunch of chocolate balls on the floor in his cat's litter box, they're not that good."

"What did Indira Gandhi hate worse than a bogey on a par four Sikhs"

"Stop fussing over whether the glass is half full or half empty and just marvel at the fact that I managed to produce that much discharge."