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Joke of the Day

"Congratulations to Mumford & Sons for winning six ""Golden Banjos"" at the 2012 Boring Awards!!!"

"What do you call it when you have a bad dream about having sex with someone you hate? A 'fucking' nightmare."

"I'm not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist"

"A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?! Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan."

"5 and I are playing ""guess the number I'm thinking of"" with no limits and no clues. He's guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!"

"Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals? Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change anything."

"I accidentally watched 2 minutes of golf and my pants turned plaid!"

"why did the chicken cross the road because it was stuck to the farmers knob."