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Joke of the Day

"HEY YOU GUYS! Last chance to date me before I call it a day and start wearing socks under sandals."

"When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on."

"You know what really gets my goat? The Chupacabra."

"My wife was having an affair... I was devastated. But, by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning."

"Facebook users are demanding the old layout they actually hated when it was the new layout they previously didn't want."

"More of a Gay pickup line: I have naked tea parties about once every week. I have a tea pot now I need a tea bag. You up for that? (Ripped from family guy)"

"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties."

"Hey guy's I'm the titanic I would like to nominate all of my passengers and crew to do the ALS ice bucket challenge, you have 24 hours!"

"I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October"

"Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed? So that it can be used as an *aphrodisiac*"