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Joke of the Day

"A man was found dead in a vat of falafel condiment. Police are treating it as a hummuscide."

"Judge: Guilty Me: Sayyoudidwhat. Judge: What did you say? Me: Judge? Did you just reverse my sentence? *Stage dives into cheering jury*"

"What do math teachers grow? Geometrees and trigonometrees"

"Why did the seal make a Tinder account? To find a Significant Otter."

"I still struggle daily with how Ed Hardy happened"

"I went to church today just to thank God I'm not Miley Cyrus."

"Why did the tin man go to hell? Because he's a sinner."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago."

"What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite"

"Who would you like for president in 2020? Anyone who doesn't have poor visions."