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Joke of the Day
"Hearing a joke is like chasing a puppy with a club, eventually you get it."
Next Joke
"Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons? Because of inflation"
"*stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost"
"What's an arborists favorite side dish? Can o' peas."
"Do you know why you should never boil vegetables? Because the wheelchair might rust"
"On a scale of 1 to 10 on the hungover scale I'm at ""can't handle this conversation with my mom about a hickey."""
"Movie Ratings Explained G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!"
"Redditor's Headstone Inscription NOW I KNOW I'M LATE SO WILL LIKELY GET BURIED"
"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."
"Did you hear about the race between the horses with broken legs? It was lame."