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Joke of the Day

"TIL the Airbus A380, the world's largest passenger airliner, shares a type rating with yo momma! Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes."

"I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training."

"What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it."

"I'm the daughter of Ned Stark! Arya?"

"What do Superman and Bloods have in common? They're both getting killed by a Kryptonite."

"*takes 400 selfies to find one I think is good enough to post* caption: Just a random quick shot, I love capturing these special moments"

"If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days."

"Douce! The sound of a water balloon hitting a ""Trick Or Treater"" square in the face. Now try and have a Happy Halloween."

"My wife just opened a bottle of wine so my chances of getting laid just went from 0 to 750ml."

"The fact that other bad things are happening is not an argument against fighting a particular bad thing."