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Joke of the Day

"I always keep a water spray bottle next to my bed in case a cat burglar breaks in."

"Apparently dogs can die if they eat a lot of chocolate. I wish I had a delicious way to kill myself."

"Silent Night, Holy Night, All is calm, CORNDOG FIGHT."

"The world is my oyster. Expensive and gross."

"How do you call fish with no eyes fsh"

"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."

"Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"Just another lawyer joke Lawyer: ""Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"" Witness: ""By death."" Lawyer: ""And by whose death was it terminated?"""

"""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?"" said my late wife."

"A little Muslim girl tells her husband: ""I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Husband says: ""You can do one or the other, you can't do both."""