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Joke of the Day

"If you have sex with a girl on Monday then your boy has sex with her on Tuesday, did he retweet her vagina?"

"MOTHRA: try this, its crunchy & juicy GODZILA: i cant, im on a...low-car diet MOTHRA: o ha ha like low-carb GODZILA: ha ha HUMANS IN CAR: AHHH"

"What does every ""Tickle Me Elmo"" get before they leave the factory? Two test tickles"

"Yoko Ono is apparently being lined up to assist with the bush tucker trials in the I'm a Celebrity jungle. After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years."

"I'm beginning to question your proclamation of your ""spiritual gifts"". You are about as intuitive as my autocorrect."

"What did the lucky butter say? I'm on a roll!"

"I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?"

"Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self.. Where the fuck is my roof??"

"Married men live longer then single men. So if you want a slow death...... ;-)"

"Knock knock. Mailman."