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Joke of the Day
"I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar."
Next Joke
"I don't want to alarm anyone but BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!"
"Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !"
"What do you call a gay Asian guy? Rice-a-Roni"
"Me: Goodnight Moon *Moon favs but doesn't reply*"
"""Someone offered me grapes, but I declined . I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form."" University of Chicago"
"Some members of Alphaville wanted to undergo Freud based therapy. They talked it out and decided it would be better to stay forever Jung."
"Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events? He's been living under The Rock."
"I'll never forget the last thing my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. He said ""Watch how far I can kick this bucket!"""
"Success is like Pregnancy Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it."