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Joke of the Day

"My book on tantric sex finally arrived. Damn thing took ages to come."

"*catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*"

"Vladimir Putin didn't want anyone to find his collection of pornography, so he set his browser history to privyet."

"What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad? I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake."

"What did the terrorist say about his popular reddit post? *I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*"

"An Aborigine walks into a bar wearing one sandal. ' Lost a sandal dude??, ' asks the barman. ' Nah,found one, ' replies the Aborigen."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side. Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!"

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"Relationships and Algebra are very similar! Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"A world without women would be a pain in the ass."