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Joke of the Day

"Life is a joke.. and death is the punch line."

"I used to think that Sarah Palin was a closed minded conservative Christian. ... but then I found out she is also into palm reading."

"Out with the cat for a walk. We are still at my doorstep. It's been 15 minutes."

"C, Eb, and G walk into a ""bar"" ."

"Easy IQ Test: starting from 160, subtract 10 points for each honk of a car alarm before the owner can figure out how to turn it off."

"What does a ship say when it is cold? Shiver me timbers!"

"Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow? Me: Sure. Can't wait to see you. Him: I land at 5 AM. Me: I have no brother."

"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."

"I asked my girlfriend to shave her cunt. I woke up the next morning bald."

"1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run."