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Joke of the Day

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" ""384 my liege"" ""Ok, round them up"" ""400 my liege"""

"Why is jumping from great heights the most influential way to die? Because you make an impact"

"What's the biggest advantage to living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"I'm home alone eating donuts and listening to Journey. I think I can stop believin' now."

"What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador!"

"Hey. Do these camo pants make me look fatigued?"

"Now remember kids; if a stranger offers you drugs say thank you because drugs are expensive ;)"

"""The ONLY guaranteed way to lose weight is through Diet & Exercise!"" -People who haven't tried Meth"

"Guys, what are your favorite ""I'm going to hell for this"" jokes? Here's mine: What do you call a dead Mexican? Dearly deported."

"What did Stephen Hawking name his new hair salon The Curl Up and Dye"