110901

Joke of the Day

"TRUE STORY: woke up around 3am with a great idea for a tweet; this morning found a note reading ""Hills, they are nature's stairs!"" Please RT"

"Excuse me -are you a psychic hooker? **cuz you just blew my mind.** *full credit: gavin mcginnes via streetboners blog from about 5 years ago.*"

"The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven..."

"What do you call a Beatles fan who happens to be a Chinese sadomasochistic member of the American Army? Yellow Submarine"

"A man buys condoms at a drugstore ... The cashier asks ""You need a bag with this?"" and the man answers ""No! She's not *that* ugly!""."

"I stopped leaning against walls because I couldn't trust the establishment..."

"Percentage of Childhood Obesity by U.S. State in 2011 x-post from /r/dataisbeautiful"

"The truth about cardiovascular health!"

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken... I'll see myself out now.."

"*Sets cellphone ringtone to sound like office fire alarm *calls cell phone *waits"