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Joke of the Day

"Excuse me -are you a psychic hooker? **cuz you just blew my mind.** *full credit: gavin mcginnes via streetboners blog from about 5 years ago.*"

"I feel like rock jokes are taken for granite not very many pebble appreciate them."

"I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on."

"I smiled today. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow!"

"I've never been pleased to meet anyone."

"Her: Oh no, I've lost my jacket.. Me: *appears from the shadows* (whispers) you left it at the restaurant *slinks back into the shadows*"

"I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience."

"Wife: It's not a chick flick! Me: was the movie released in February? W: yes. M: are they standing back to back on the cover? W: sigh.. yes"

"""All black people are Aiwa, and all jews are Technics."" ""Those are just stereo types."""

"Why is it that the more numbers someone has in their e-mail address, the less I respect them?"