110816

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side!"

"Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters."

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"

"Boy if these walls could talk I'd be like ""HOLY SHIT TALKING WALLS"""

"How do you throw a party in space? Planet. I'll show myself out."

"if somone acidentaly walks in while ur in the bathroom, do not react at all. this avoids embarasment & makes them wonder if they are a ghost"

"1. Find homeless man. 2. Bathe him. 3. Wash & patch up his clothes. 4. Give him a record player. 5. Congratulations, you own a hipster."

"I wish people would stop only talking about Jesus and just start acting like him."

"ME: Velma cant see anything without her glasses, so in order to find her glasses, she needs to be wearing them PRIEST: Those are your vows?"

"Whats the fastest way to a women's heart? A Knife"