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Joke of the Day

"Obama sure is waiting until the last minute to take everyone's guns."

"I decided to put some ketchup in my eyes... ...but in Heinzsight, it wasn't a good idea."

"My Muslim neighbor came to my house and asked ""Have you seen Mahid lately?"" I said, ""No, just your eyes."""

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by BATMAN!"

"The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee."

"I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games"

"If you were 8 yrs old when ""red red wine"" was released UB40 now"

"Why do older polygons make sure their sides all stay an equal length? It keeps you regular."

"Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs? He had too much thyme on his hands."

"Tonight the 3-year-old asked: ""How did God make Himself?"" I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime."