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Joke of the Day

"Suicide: Mans way of telling God - ""You can't fire me, I quit""."

"What do you call a group of well-endowed, homosexual physicists? Large hardon colliders"

"Q: What do you call a home sexual on roller skates? A: rolaids"

"I've been reading a book about the history of glue. I can't put it down!"

"I'm thinking of changing career and becoming a professional circumciser. . . The pay is lousy, but I hear you get plenty of tips."

"The only thing harder than diamonds a redneck at his family reunion"

"Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can."

"Two atoms are walking down the street... And the first one says ""shit man, i dropped an electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Says the second one. ""Yeah, im positive!"""

"I burnt a lot of calories today... I set a fat kid on fire."

"If I see you being rude to a waitress, I'll spit in your food myself."