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Joke of the Day

"""Bikini faux pas: are you guilty?"" As a guy, it's very hard to imagine the bullshit that women are bombarded with."

"Poking holes in your parents condoms so there's someone else to do the dishes"

"If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym."

"I was chatting with this cute 14 y/o online She said she was an undercover police officer. How cool for someone her age!"

"I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after."

"I hate control freaks. They never listen to me."

"If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls"

"What does a Trumpie say when they see video of Trump saying the N-word? ""I can't believe how racist Shillary is for showing this video."""

"What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp? I don't know. I'm retiring next month."