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Joke of the Day

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?"

"What do you call having sex in a canoe? Bud Light, because it's fucking close to water."

"Director: so, you'll be playing this regular guy... Johnny Depp: no thanks."

"Wanna hear a pickup line? ***HONK HONK HOOOOOONK HONK HOOOONNK***"

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth? I am bread."

"Did you hear about Tom Brady going to the whore house? He needed to deflate his balls"

"Just watched 3 people jogging outside and it has inspired me to get up and close the blinds."

"I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower."

"Talking to a Beaver So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, ""Well dam."""