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Joke of the Day

"When I was a child, I loved astronomy and I actually saw Orion's belt many times. My Dad's nickname was Orion and he used to beat the shit out of me because I didn't like sports."

Next Joke
 
"I decided to face reality today and I definitely won't be doing that again anytime soon."
"I can't believe Earth is 2017 years old! ...plus a couple billion years..."
"Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] ""I ran into a door"""
"Two atoms are in a bar, Two atoms are in a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" To which the first replies, ""I'm positive."""
"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."
"An Elderly Couple were Watching TV They died."
"What makes perfect sense? The U.S. mint (cents)"
"First white Muslims in Boston, now a 7'0"" gay black pro athlete. Narrow-minded conservatives everywhere are having a very confusing month."
"I love comfort food. I'm going to eat a quilt."