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Joke of the Day

"Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?"

"If Elon Musk ran for president, what would his subreddit be called? /r/futurology"

"How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer? The extrovert looks at your feet when talking."

"""Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?"" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. ""Who?"" TT: Bingo"

"Why did Insane Clown Posse never learn about magnets? They're repulsive!"

"I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work."

"You know how the bud light campaign got through PR? Because the guys at bud light aren't used to getting consent and don't take no for an answer."

"Mommy, mommy can I lick the bowl out? Noooo...just flush the toilet like a normal person......"

"If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam."

"A Zach Galifinakis-style ""impression"" joke. The character I'm working on is: MOMENTARILY CONFUSED BATMAN <husky voice>: Alfred... <regular voice>: Ahem... I mean hey Alfred"