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Joke of the Day

"How do you piss off the rich and the poor in two words? Bernie Sanders. Clause: I support the guy."

"What did music tell the pancakes? B flat."

"I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company... My girlfriend recently dumped me and this ""No Tears"" stuff isn't working at all."

"I love doing sports related activities My two most favorite are the pre-workout and post-workout meals."

"Scientists have finally proved that Friday the 13th IS unlucky Trump is still alive"

"My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"

"How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood? His hand caught fire."

"What is the hardest part of eating vegetables? Their wheelchairs"

"The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face."

"Hangover status: playing duct, duct, tape with the kids."