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Joke of the Day

"What did Kim say when she found an armpit hair in her margarine container? ... I can't believe it's not butt-hair"

"So I was in Jerusalem and a man was trying to sell me a gold watch... I kept telling him I don't want it. It looks too fake, not real gold. He looked at me and says ""It's not fake, Israel."""

"What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student? Don't get smart with me."

"[Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?"

"A man was asked if he was Indecisive He couldn't make up his mind."

"You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way? It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane."

"How do you call a play on numbers? A pin."

"Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all."

"What did Donald Trump say to the Mexicans? You're hired! But don't tell anyone."

"Latey, my aphabet has been a the pace, I bame the fact there's ""noel"""