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Joke of the Day

"""Why do people get plastic surgery? Why can't you just admit that it's over? Stop trying to look fuckable in your 50's."" @MaleHonesty86"

"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... And he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"Why do SJW's hate Programmers? They objectify everything."

"[trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] ""can you hook me up with some wifi?"""

"They found a cure for pedophiles. They turn them into dyslexics... ... so they go around looking for Pop Tarts instead of tot parts."

"PBS is starting a new children's show... for kids along the Mexican-American border. It's called Maquiladora the Explorer."

"Women can split open our bodies & chuck living human beings out of our midsections so how about you go ahead & pay us as much as men."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again I've said it before"

"Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back"

"If your phone gets lost and a noble soul returns it to you.. Its time to change your phone."