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Joke of the Day

"My coworker couldn't decide which grandparents should be her 2 children's legal guardians, so I said to split them up. Then you only have to decide who gets the top half, who gets the bottom."

"a powerful ancient bully emerged from a lake and told some girls i didnt know how to jack off til i was 16 & used a really unorthodox style"

"NFL catch rules are absurd. ""Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."""

"A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a farmer, his daughter, a horse, a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy all walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this? A joke?"""

"what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human? thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life."

"Violets are blue, roses are red Violets are blue, roses are red. We're doing it backwards, That's what she said."

"So an electric pole fell on my head today I couldn't believe it cause it was so shocking"

"The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre...they are back in style now."

"What do 9 out of 10 people love? Gang rape"

"Son and a Blow Job A man is sitting at home and his son walks in from school. The son says ""Dad! I had my first blow job today!"" And the father says ""really? How was it?"" ""It tasted awful!"""