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Joke of the Day

"How do you get four old ladies to yell ""SHIT!"" Get a fifth old lady to yell ""BINGO!"""

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you do not talk about, name, hint at, refer to, discuss, or mention Thesaurus Club."

"Wife says ""sorry I have my period"". I said ""that's ok honey, that's what the colon is for""!"

"How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?"

"Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga? Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top."

"I used to be be indecisive.... ....now I'm not so sure."

"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"""

"84% of Schools Scored Below Average on SATs First person who gets this joke will be upvoted."

"What is Donald Trump's favourite nursery rhyme? Barack a bye baby"

"30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown."