110086

Joke of the Day

"A boy and his mother passed a cemetery. The boy saw a gravestone read 'Here lies an honest lawyer'. He said to his mother ""I thought Gandhi was cremated."""

"boyfriend jeans are over. in 2017 its all about wearing your boyfriend's dog's jeans"

"My girlfriend started pms-ing today. I thinks it's just a big ovary action."

"[firemen meeting] if we had a pole instead of stairs, we could get to the trucks much quicker *from back* ""why dont we just sit downstairs?"""

"What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? An etymologist knows."

"Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer."

"""Excuse the mess; we had guests,"" I graciously explain, leaving out the ""five months ago"" part."

"ME: It would ring, and we would... Answer it. TEENS: but, like, how did you know who it WAS? ME *staring into the distance* We never did..."

"New rule: You're not allowed to be condescending unless you can spell it."

"Oh you got ""Swag""? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application."