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Joke of the Day

"I tried to copy a philosophical pun but I kant"

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"Kiss me you fool. Embrace me you dolt. Cuddle me you simpleton. Marry me you megalomaniac. HAVE MY BABY YOU GARBAGE PERSON."
"What's a shopaholic's favourite boy band? NSYNC"
"I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat."
"So I went on this swinger's camping holiday recently. It was fucking intense."
"What has two legs and is bleeding all over the fucking rug? Half a dog"
"What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini? Olive or Twist."
"What do you get when you mix a donkey & a onion? A Piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye"
"I lost my job... I got fired from my job at the M&M's factory yesterday for throwing away all the W's."
"Why were the dyslexic lesbians frustrated? They kept trying 96 but couldn't make each other cum."