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Joke of the Day

"My Son's #1 Concern When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it?"""

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...and so I bite."

"If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all."

"This really crashes my belief system. Hilary Clinton spent 40 years building up her career to lose presidency to a man who picked up politics as a hobby last year."

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"How do you offend a white person? Tell him he cant tell racist jokes."

"George Ezra must really love his calculator if he wrote a song about it. *Cassy O'*"

"My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine."

"Pitbull: Hey, what rhymes with ""Kodak""? Nicki Minaj: ""Kodak"", duh... Pitbull: Thanks!"

"There hasn't been a ""final"" fantasy"