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Joke of the Day
"I don't understand why you can lead a horse to water but you can't make a teenager do the dishes."
Next Joke
"A guy goes to get a physical... The doctor says ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""
"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian"
"'1 Gingerbread man please' Sorry, they are soul out."
"I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple."
"If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!"
"How do you please all the people? Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!"
"Torque is like drugs It makes everything spin around."
"What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall? A total attention whore."
"My girlfriends are like computers. I mistreat them, load them with viruses, and then I break them."