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Joke of the Day

"I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand"

"Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison."

"Two Polish guys are walking through the woods... One says ""Look, a dead bird!"". The other looks up in the trees and says ""Where?!"""

"I don't understand Fox and Friends. No one on the show is named Fox. Are they friends with a TV channel?"

"The Man-whisperer. My dog at 6am."

"What's grey and bad for your teeth? A hammer."

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

"I don't see the fun in putting money on the railway track. The bill flew away, so I put a rock on top of it. Now I'm going to Guantanamo."

"i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13"

"Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend either the car is new or the girlfriend is."